I am new to this whole blog thing. I think I have the hang of it enough, now, to get moving with it. I don’t know yet exactly how this will all play out, but I hope “organized” will be part of its description.
How did I come to take a year off of medical school?
In June, my grandmother Mary Helen Patenotte was diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer. By the time she found out, her cancer had taken up residence in her liver. We knew that she had some time, but not very much. I had started my third year rotations, but decided to come home and be with my granny and my mom. I was able to spend a good bit of time with her before she passed, putting puzzles together and watching wheel of fortune. She went home on August 6th to what I am sure was a joyous reunion with her parents and siblings and her God.
I was devastated and tested. I decided to go back to Jacksonville with my mom and dad until school started back up in June. I thought I could get a job, study, and heal. I looked at it as an opportunity to make new friends and focus on my family and my shaken faith. God’s plan, I can clearly see now, included mostly healing and my shaken faith.
I applied to a lot of jobs. I didn’t even get a call back for temporary holiday work, and the malls in Jacksonville are HUGE! I was running out of money and stressing about asking my dad for help. (He is too generous.) While hoping for a phone call about a job, my mom and dad convinced me to head to Mountain T.O.P. (Tennessee Outreach Project) with my mom for a weekend. So, with my dad offering to help pay my bills, I decided to TRY to let go and headed to Mountain T.O.P.
At Mountain T.O.P. I made a friend. This is not surprising. My mom said, “You should try to get on Tommy’s team. If you get on his team, you will have fun.” So, being the good daughter that I am, I joined his team. Tommy encouraged me to “do something fun” during my time off. He gave me suggestions, and I mentioned trying to work or something in Costa Rica, a place that I have been lucky enough to fall in love with. He happened to “know people.”
Now, just before I left for Mountain T.O.P. I began to give up on getting a job. Instead, I started focusing on ways that I could productively spend my time. I had been browsing the Christ for the City International (CFCI) website and feeling tugs at my heart. It just so happens that Tommy’s “people” were people associated with CFCI. This isn’t all that outlandish, since I have actually done a week long mission trip with CFCI. But, it definitely was much needed encouragement.
Since everything seemed to be flowing, I went with it. Sent some emails and filled out some applications. CFCI accepted me as a volunteer. It seemed so simple. I have time to be of service. There is a need that I can fill. I intend to fill that need with all of my heart and all of my effort.
If I could honestly explain my emotion over the past few years and especially the past few months, it would be desperation. I felt like I had fallen flat on my face. I had a need to fill my life with something. Only, I need to fill it with the right things. I had been messing this up for years trying to do it on my own. God told me to slow down. Something he has been whispering to me for a while. It is amazing how we listen when we fall flat on our face.
This is where I am. God has slowed down every single aspect of my life-school, relationships-in order for me to get to where I need to be. I will pick myself up by using this time to share His love. This time in La Carpio, Costa Rica.
